What is Home?

What is home?

I think home has a different meaning for everyone and that it can be a bit weird to think about what it means for anyone else. I think home does not really exist. I think it is a concept that we as humans created with our ability to create and think for abstract things.

This is interesting to me because home is something that most people claim to have. Does this mean that it is the same for everyone. Some people think of home as a house or a physical place. I think that home is something different than that. For example, I have a house and so do many other people, so does that mean that their houses are my home. NO, of course not! Homes can change as well. I know from personal experience. I use to live in a house off of 59th street and grew up in that house. Then one day I moved into a new house and everything seemed different and like it would never be okay again. However after a while I started to sleep better in this new house and then started to call and think of it as my home. My old house was no longer my home. So what changed?

I think what changed for me and why I started to think of this new house as home was that fact that I could now start sleeping better and was more relaxed in this new house. This seems to be a security thing and something that is different for every person.

Another point that can be made is that even being rootless, one can have a home. For example, Gypsy cultures move around a lot but seem to have a home. I think the reason that this is that they have family and friends that move around with them. I strongly believe that this would be different if the people from the Gypsy culture move away from each other and were on their own. The reason this is a bad thing is that, the culture will slowly be lost within future generations. The culture will slowly change into something different and the ties to the original will be lost.

So it culture always changing and is this go? I'll get back to you on that one.

Scariest moment

The other day I experience what I believe is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I was driving around at night. The reason for the driving is simply because I had nothing better to do and did not want to be stuck at home by myself on a Friday night. I was driving down 60th going North. I have always liked driving out in the middle of no where and that's where I was heading.

I have gotten into this bad habit of texting and driving. I was in the middle of reading a text and I go to look up... All of a sudden I see a deer in front of my car.

Of course I slam on the brakes and scream a scream that I have never heard before. I could not believe how much terror was filled with in it. I have always heard about how dangerous a deer can be to hit. It all happened so fast and my heart of pounding in my chest and thundering in my ears. The deer quickly turned the opposite direction and ran off the road. And just that fast it was all over. However my reaction to the incident was not over. My heart continued to pound and my hands to shake.

After about ten minutes I started to feel better. I now know how bad things can turn when not paying attention when on the road. After that happened I thought that sitting at home alone on a Friday night would not be that bad after all and decided to turn around a go home. Since this I have not texted and driven. This is something that I now really understand. I think that too many people think that they can multi-task. I was one of them and still am but I no longer thing that I can multi-task when driving. It is just not worth being unsafe.

Untold Stories of the ER: Real or Fake

Untold stories of the ER, is a show that I have watched multiple times. However I have always wondered and questioned whether this show is real or fake. I know that the actual film being watched has to be a reenactment because of HIPA standards protect the patients.

The question is, are the stories being reenacted true or made up.

I am a certified EMT and CNA so I do have some background in the medical field. This is the main reason why I question the show. When listening to the show, the actors or "doctors" do use terminology that professionals use and use them in the correct way. This adds to the trustworthiness of the show. However some of the things that happen in the ER are things that would or should not normally allowed. For example, I do not think that I questionable woman off the street "if you know what I mean" that is not a patient should be allowed into the ER. This woman also was the reason that another woman was in the hospital.

The ER doctor thought that it would be best to put her in a room and have someone watch her while he gets the woman's shoe that she put through other woman's face. This would never have happened. I believe that in real life the police would have been involved and she would most certainly not get her shoe back after being put through someone's face.

This in a way shows that the stories might to twisted into something that did not originally happen. Does this mean that the show adds to the drama to keep people interested. Maybe, maybe not. I think that show business something is always added, normal life is just not interesting enough, after all don't people watch TV to get away from life?

Sub Cultures.

The other day I was driving behind a motor cyclist and noticed that when passing another motor cyclist on the opposite side of the median, the cyclist put his hand down by his thigh and so did the other cyclist. This has always been interesting to me. My father has a motorcycle of his own. I once asked him why this happens. He told me that it is a sign of respect.

But how did this start? There is no rule that if one does not do this gesture than they are in trouble. So how do new motorcyclist learn this gesture?

One thought that I have on this is simply by mocking others. Mocking others is how people start out learning when they are just small children. I believe that this way of learning never goes away. I know that I have tried something new and did not know exactly what to do. How I learned was simply by following the first in front of me.

I also think that the reason the this gesture continues is that people feel pressured into doing to gesture. It is similar to peer pressure.

I am starting to experience the same thing in rock climbing. I am starting to learn the language like, matching or a rock or toe/heel the rock. These are things that as a outsider I would have never known what they are talking about. I never realized why I started using this language, it just felt normal when everyone around me was using it. Now I do not even think about the language..

I wonder if this is the same for others like motorcyclist. This gesture is so same and is not even thought about. It has just become part of someone's life and their personality. What would happen if someone did not return this gesture. Would the person that does not receive the gesture back even notice. Or would not receiving the gesture make a better impact on the person than if the gesture had simply been given.


I believe that not receiving the gesture would make a bigger impact because people tend to react to something that they are unhappy about rather than something that makes them happy. I have heard of studies that talk about this, that people will tell around ten others about something that they are unhappy about rather than maybe two people they will tell about something that made them happy. This is interesting to me.

Rock Climbing

Rock climbing was something that I have never really given much thought to. However, I was finally convienced to go with a friend. At first it was extremely intimidating. It looked like something that I would never be good at or enjoy.

After learning how to climb, I found that it was one of the interesting and exciting things I have ever done. I am not sure why it is so exciting. I think that it may have something to do with the feeling a success. I am a pretty stubborn person and if I try should and do not succeed at first I will find myself trying over and over until I reach the goal. Some might say that this is a good thing and I do believe that in some cases this is a good way to be however sometimes someone just has to learn when I say its over.

Apparently for me, this seems to be a really big problem because I find myself going back almost every day. My hands have gotten so sore over the past week and I have gotten so many blisters. But the blisters never stop me from trying the last route that I have been working on completely for a few days. When I finally do finish a route I feel like I could take on the whole world. Maybe this is because I accomplished something that is both physically and mentally challenging.

The mental challenge comes into play when trying to figure out the best way to go about figuring out how to finish the route whether that is cross hand over hand or matching hands on one rock. This is something that has to be done before the route is started because if one tries to figure out how to finish when in the process too much energy is being used and there is nothing left to finish. The physical part comes from just being able to hold on, control the body in such a way were every muscle in working. The muscles might not be working as hard as they can but they are ever so slightly contracting and making the body stay in the chosen position.

Maybe this is why I like climbing, it makes me learn self control in a way that I have never known before. Self control is something that I will always need.

Government Down!

Last night before I went to bed I heard someone on the TV talking about how government was shutting down. To this I just thought what was being said was a big joke. In the morning I found out that it was the complete truth.

It is still really hard for me to understand how the government can just shut down. I did not know that something like this was even possible. I started to watch the news in the morning and boy is it crazy.

Honestly I am a little pissed that the people in congress are being such asses. I know that some people may say that they are doing their job by sticking up for what they believe in or what the people believe in. And I do think that the budget for Obama care is something extremely big to think about. However I do not agree with it taking so long that the government has to be shut down. My uncle works for the government and he went into work today just to find out that he, for the time being does not have a job and will not be paid.

How can congress do this to the people that elected them? The people that they are suppose to be protecting? I do not understand it. Maybe some of the people in congress are okay with it because they are still going to get paid. Which hey, why should they suffer along with the rest of the country?

All that I know is that this needs to be fixed right way because each day the economy is losing money and people are not getting the help that they need. For example, WIC patients will not be able to receive any help from the government right now. For people who do not know WIC patients and mothers with children to whom they can not afford to feed. The patients receive and check with items on it that they are allowed to purchase. These items are different for each patient because a doctor writes out a plan for them.

Why should mothers and their children suffer? Congress better get itself together.

Saying Goodbye.

Sometimes in life there are times when one has to say goodbye. I think that I have reached one of those moments in my life.



Sometimes life now, it is extremely hard to let go. Maybe it is because I am so use to having this person in my life and I have grown to be comfortable. After all it was two years that I had this person in my life. Maybe I should start  to let go because it is only causing me more pain to hold on. It seems that I harder I hold and looser my grab on my emotions and mind become..

This is even starting to affect my school life. I am finding myself thinking that other things are more important when in reality I know that school is one of the most important things in my life right now. It only comes second to my health. Even that right now seems to now be doing so well. I have been so stressed and I can not sleep at night. When I finally do fall asleep if I get woken up I will not be able to get back to sleep.

I know that I right thing to do for myself is to let go. Then why are my feels pulling me a different why? Why is it so hard?

Its kind of funny when I think about it because I know that no matter what months from now I will not feel this way. I know that I will be okay. It will probably suck when I think about it but the pain will not be there.


That's the great thing about pain. It can never reappear like sadness or happiness, when you think back on a memory or an event. It is because pain is only a temporary thing.

Anatomy test! AHHHHHH!

I am so nervous about my anatomy times that is about an hour away! I really do not know if I am going to do so way on this test. But honestly it is totally my fault, I fell really far behind and should have realized it. Instead I though that going out with my friends was more important or my boyfriend troubles.

Now I realize that I am really going to have to change in order to be as successful as I plan on being. My plan in order to do this is find at least two hours a day to study or do homework. I also need to start leaving notes for myself to help me remember to get things done on  time.

I am also going to start reading the chapters in my textbook. My plan is to read through the chapter that is going to be lectured about in the next class. I also plan to make sure I print out the power point at least the day before the class that way I will have time to look it over. I'll right back before Thursday that way I can keep myself accountable.

Call of Duty

I do not understand what is so great about Call of Duty!

I know there are many people that will disagree and say that this is one of the most amazing games ever created. However I think it is a huge waste of time. I never seen the evils and how it is so appealing to its lovers.

I think is also so funny how people can get so worked up about the game. I do not know how many times I have watched my friends play and they die, first words after this happens is always "bullshit." or the famous "glitch."

The lovers of this game sometimes agree how there are many benefits to playing games like Call of Duty. For example, it improves reaction time. This is the only things that I might agree with in the opposing argument. I will not agree with the thought that it helps improve problem solving skill. How the heck does shooting someone solve a problem.

Well any ways hope I do not offend anyone but Call of Duty I still believe is a big waste of time. Just saying.

Random thoughts.

How does one describe a color to someone who is blind and always has been?

There are so many things that everyone associates with colors with out even thinking about it. For example, the color red is tired with a hot temp or being angry. The reason behind this has to be something nurture rather than nature thing.

Someone that is blind must not associate those things with colors because how could they! Without growing up seeing the red angry face and the sad blue face, one can not possible make that connection. I can not fathom not being able to see color but knowing that it is something every real to the majority of the world.

Any ways, back on topic. When trying to describe a color to some one that is blind I believe that the best has to be through texture. After all one of the main things that a seeing impaired person uses to "see" is touch.

Blue would be smooth and cool like water.

Red would be thick and hot.

Green is fresh and springy.

White is soft and fluffy.

However, a lot of these examples rely on whether the person understand the references. I wonder how life would be different without sight. I wonder how trusting a seeing impaired person is. I wonder how much life is missed out on, in that never ending darkness. Yet I wonder what others are truly missing out on that they are experiences every day of their life.

Life without sight would be interesting. To have everyone on the same "playing field." To be able to truly hold everyone as equal because there are not other things like some ones appearance holding them back.

First day of school.